I've asked myself similar questions this year. I'm recovering from an addiction to achievement. Defining 'good enough' is so important, otherwise nothing ever will be.
An addiction to achievement sums it up perfectly — I can completely relate. Redefining 'good enough' after years of striving for unattainable standards is a challenging but essential step.
I've just wrote about this: I think is due to feelings of not feeling safe being one's self so we look on the outside to tell us it is safe to just be us. I wrote about this today and yesterday. Really loved to read your view on it. 🤍
I love the way you've framed this. That deep need for external reassurance makes so much sense when we don't feel safe just being ourselves. I'm looking forward to reading what you've written on this! 🤍
I hear you. When that feeling creeps in, it’s so easy to look for the next big achievement to ‘prove’ our worth. I hope you give yourself space to breathe through this process 🤍
Loving this on so many levels - loving it for myself, my friends, my mom, my mentors and professors. There are so many people in my life trying to prove their worth through productivity. I’ll forward this article to them with hope that ot sparks even a tiny flame of self reflection or self doubt. Thank you for this, really well put!
That means so much. Thank you for sharing it! It’s wild how deeply this belief is ingrained in so many of us, often without even realising it. I hope it offers a little space for reflection (or even just a deep breath) for those who need it x
I loved this beautiful share, Emma! I could resonate a lot! Living for oneself, not others, should be a high priority, just like the others.
“People who've neither tried nor understood your path are often the loudest in stopping you from pursuing it” is something I've learned recently! Nevertheless, you do what your gut says! ✨
Thank you so much, Anjali! I’m really glad this resonated with you. Living for ourselves can feel like a radical act when we’re so used to external expectations. That quote is so true! The loudest voices often come from those who don’t fully understand.
I'm amazed how many of us are caught up in this cycle for all sorts of reasons. I've been a performing, people pleasing perfectionist my entire life and it's only now, at 67 (after a breakdown) that I'm slowly changing my thoughts, beliefs and behaviours...better later than never!
It's never too late! I always thought I was alone in my struggles with this, but sharing my experience has opened my eyes to how many of us are feeling this way. I'm so happy to hear you're finding a way to break this cycle. Wishing you all the best x
*How often do we convince ourselves that a new job, title, or achievement will finally make us feel ‘enough,’ only to find we’re still chasing that elusive finish line?"
How about right now? I'm personally felt so seen with this part of the post. While I can't resonate with school I can definitely see myself in the work part of your story. To be set free you must free yourself. Much love.
I love this reflection and am definitely going on the same journey right now in terms of my self-worth, and what influences it. It takes so much courage to come to these realisations which deeply challenge your core beliefs about yourself, and try to take action for the better. Kudos to you ✨ (plus the quote from your mum is incredible - it’s painful but it’s so true!)
Thanks so much! I had hoped the journey would be linear but it’s feeling more like a squiggly line for me right now. My mum will be very chuffed to hear that her quote was a hit 😂
My ingredients are different but the dish tastes the same. The pressure to be the success that you think others want you to be. Whew. That’s a mind-bender. Great stuff. Thanks.
What a beautiful reflection! This resonates deeply when I was in corporate thinking I had "made it" but was dealing with constant anxiety. Thank you for sharing this.
The principle of my son's kindergarten always says: "Please don't compare your children. Every kids have their own pace, there is no need to be rushed. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, each kids will bloom by their own timing." I agree with her, so I do provide opportunities for my son to try new things, I don't ask for performance, just hoping he enjoys the experience, as his world is a white canvas full of opportunities.
It takes courage to question your reality and try a different way. Even more to write about it. Well done. 💛
Thank you so much. That means a lot. It’s definitely a work in progress, but writing about it feels like a step in the right direction.
I've asked myself similar questions this year. I'm recovering from an addiction to achievement. Defining 'good enough' is so important, otherwise nothing ever will be.
An addiction to achievement sums it up perfectly — I can completely relate. Redefining 'good enough' after years of striving for unattainable standards is a challenging but essential step.
“Addiction to achievement” is great term for this. I like to call myself a “recovered perfectionist” but I may need to update my terminology.
I've just wrote about this: I think is due to feelings of not feeling safe being one's self so we look on the outside to tell us it is safe to just be us. I wrote about this today and yesterday. Really loved to read your view on it. 🤍
I love the way you've framed this. That deep need for external reassurance makes so much sense when we don't feel safe just being ourselves. I'm looking forward to reading what you've written on this! 🤍
It's in my recent newsletters but I think it aligns with what you wrote. I really loved your analysis because it captures it so well! 🤍
In the midst of exploring Masters programs because of this exact feeling. Thank you so much for giving me permission to breathe.
I hear you. When that feeling creeps in, it’s so easy to look for the next big achievement to ‘prove’ our worth. I hope you give yourself space to breathe through this process 🤍
Loving this on so many levels - loving it for myself, my friends, my mom, my mentors and professors. There are so many people in my life trying to prove their worth through productivity. I’ll forward this article to them with hope that ot sparks even a tiny flame of self reflection or self doubt. Thank you for this, really well put!
That means so much. Thank you for sharing it! It’s wild how deeply this belief is ingrained in so many of us, often without even realising it. I hope it offers a little space for reflection (or even just a deep breath) for those who need it x
I loved this beautiful share, Emma! I could resonate a lot! Living for oneself, not others, should be a high priority, just like the others.
“People who've neither tried nor understood your path are often the loudest in stopping you from pursuing it” is something I've learned recently! Nevertheless, you do what your gut says! ✨
Thank you so much, Anjali! I’m really glad this resonated with you. Living for ourselves can feel like a radical act when we’re so used to external expectations. That quote is so true! The loudest voices often come from those who don’t fully understand.
Loved every word of this. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you've found comfort/joy in the extra 20% you've given yourself!
Thanks so much! I really have. It’s been the best gift I’ve ever given myself. Honestly, I just wish I’d done it sooner! 😅
This is really amazing :). Thank you for writing.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.
I'm amazed how many of us are caught up in this cycle for all sorts of reasons. I've been a performing, people pleasing perfectionist my entire life and it's only now, at 67 (after a breakdown) that I'm slowly changing my thoughts, beliefs and behaviours...better later than never!
It's never too late! I always thought I was alone in my struggles with this, but sharing my experience has opened my eyes to how many of us are feeling this way. I'm so happy to hear you're finding a way to break this cycle. Wishing you all the best x
*How often do we convince ourselves that a new job, title, or achievement will finally make us feel ‘enough,’ only to find we’re still chasing that elusive finish line?"
How about right now? I'm personally felt so seen with this part of the post. While I can't resonate with school I can definitely see myself in the work part of your story. To be set free you must free yourself. Much love.
"To be set free, you must free yourself" you're absolutely right! Thank you so much for reading.
This is amazing. It’s exactly how I feel. You nailed it.
Thank you! That means a lot.
This is a very well written story.
And by that I mean, easy to read.
Also intersting that my experience is the opposite of yours.
My struggle is the inability to live-up to my own expectations, despite those close to me reporting enviable over-achievement.
Thanks so much, Bobby! I find it fascinating how the feeling of being 'good enough' shows up differently for all of us.
I love this reflection and am definitely going on the same journey right now in terms of my self-worth, and what influences it. It takes so much courage to come to these realisations which deeply challenge your core beliefs about yourself, and try to take action for the better. Kudos to you ✨ (plus the quote from your mum is incredible - it’s painful but it’s so true!)
Thanks so much! I had hoped the journey would be linear but it’s feeling more like a squiggly line for me right now. My mum will be very chuffed to hear that her quote was a hit 😂
My ingredients are different but the dish tastes the same. The pressure to be the success that you think others want you to be. Whew. That’s a mind-bender. Great stuff. Thanks.
Thanks for reading!
What a beautiful reflection! This resonates deeply when I was in corporate thinking I had "made it" but was dealing with constant anxiety. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks so much!
The principle of my son's kindergarten always says: "Please don't compare your children. Every kids have their own pace, there is no need to be rushed. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, each kids will bloom by their own timing." I agree with her, so I do provide opportunities for my son to try new things, I don't ask for performance, just hoping he enjoys the experience, as his world is a white canvas full of opportunities.