Everything I did this week that wasn’t “productive”

Sometimes skipping the to-do list is exactly what you need

If you’ve been reading Inner Canvas for a while, you may have noticed I have a hard time cutting myself some slack. It’s an unhelpful habit, and one that’s often amplified by writing this newsletter.

Right now, I’m halfway through my second week in a new job. And while I’m genuinely excited about the fancy title and added responsibility, I naively forgot how exhausting the first few weeks can be. So much new information, so little room in my brain.

If I were an organised person, I would have banked a few articles in preparation for weeks like this. But that’s not how my ADHD-brain rolls.

Early mornings and weekends are usually reserved for finalising each week’s newsletter. But this week, I couldn’t get my act together. Cue the guilt, negative self-talk and frustration as my self-imposed Thursday deadline loomed.

The last time this happened, I spiralled into a black hole that took far too long to crawl out of. But this time, instead of plunging headfirst into emotional, spiritual, and physical chaos, I let myself do whatever my heart desired.

Breaking news! Listening to what you need actually helps. Who knew.

I may not have pulled together my typical newsletter, but I did manage to make peace with the fact that sometimes skipping the to-do list is exactly what you need. I guess this is what growth looks like?

In honour of actually respecting my limits for once, here’s a non-exhaustive list of everything I did instead of writing this newsletter:

• Watched my 500th consecutive episode of Law & Order SVU. Yes, you read that right. Unhinged behaviour. Possibly my most impressive hyperfixation yet.

• Ate the most delicious bagel on my best friend’s couch while we pulled astrology cards and pondered the mysteries of the universe.

• Found out that a “magic” is a type of coffee you can order in Melbourne, even though I’ve lived here for three years. You really do learn something new every day.

• Loudly cheered on our friend at her 10km fun run (still not convinced “fun” and “run” belong in the same sentence).

• Enjoyed multiple glasses of wine with friends at the pub on Sunday night. Look at me, going out on a school night!

• Smugly went to a Pilates reformer class on Tuesday night, only to lose the ability to walk down stairs or sit without groaning by Wednesday morning.

• Honed my artistic abilities in my favourite colouring book. A true masterpiece may or may not be in progress.

As Anne Lamott once wrote, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

I’d love to know: What’s one thing you did this week instead of being productive that helped you feel more like yourself?

Thank you for reading. It truly means the world to me! 💌